Short Book Review: The Anatomy of Peace - The Arbinger Institute

This is a powerful book on relationships! I got my bachelor's in Psychology and have plans to pursue a PhD in either Marriage and Family Therapy or Counseling Psychology. Consequently, this book was very relevant to my interests. 

This book is very existential and hermeneutical in it's perspectives, which are views that are generally in direct opposition to mainstream psychology. As I have studied psychology, it has become apparent to me that psychology as a discipline sees people as objects, not people. Psychology seeks to generalize, control, and predict. It puts people into categories and boxes, stereotypes which are known as diagnosis. Psychology views people as no different from any other natural object. A rock falling down a hill is not responsible for the damage it inflicts on whatever is in its path. The rock couldn't do otherwise, if it falls, it falls. That's how mainstream psychology sees and deals with people. People are biological machines that are caused by natural laws (like the falling rocks). 

When I read The Anatomy of Peace, it's alternative views immediately resonated with me. The premise of the book revolves around the idea that our state of being in relation to others determines everything about our interactions with them. If we view people as objects, such as obstacles to get around, or things that help us get to where we are going, then it doesn't matter what we say or do, it will come off differently than if we genuinely see people as people.   

We have all met people that who we feel genuinely listen to us. It's a rare feeling, and is very refreshing. This book has helped me try to really listen to others, and understand them, and to not see them as means to my ends. It has changed how I view my wife, and how I try to live and be in relation to her. I don't want to be a hypocrite and an empty shell. I want my outer world to reflect my inner world! This book is about doing things right, and for the right reasons, which makes a huge difference for us, but an even bigger difference for those around us!

For more of my thoughts, see Ways of Seeing and Ways of Being

To Order The Anatomy of Peace: CLICK HERE

Here's a video summary! It's a power-packed 5 mins!